Author: Harry Smith

Kenneth’s story

Posted on by Harry Smith

When our nursing team heard about Kenneth’s extensive bow tie collection, they wanted to add to his ensemble with a tie bearing our own hospice colours.

He was delighted to be presented with it in his home by Maria from St Christopher’s.

After receiving it, he invited us to learn about what he’s experienced over the past 98 years.

Continue reading “Kenneth’s story”
One of Kenneth's colourful bow ties.

“Once they see you with that on, they’ll never forget you!”

When our nursing team heard about Kenneth’s extensive bow tie collection, they wanted to add to his ensemble with a tie bearing our own hospice colours.

He was delighted to be presented with it in his home by Maria from St Christopher’s.

After receiving it, he invited us to learn about what he’s experienced over the past 98 years.

Continue reading “Kenneth’s story”

Emma’s Story

Posted on by Harry Smith

“I wanted a different view this time!” said Emma, choosing the latter as she had already skydived from 10,000ft before.

The skydive was in the memory of her mum, Brenda, who was cared for by St Christopher’s.

Emma with her brother, Steve

Social carer, Emma, and her brother, Steve, took the time to talk to us about Brenda while she was still being cared for at the hospice. Family and community have always been important to the siblings, and so it was a difficult and yet uniting time for them when Brenda was diagnosed with cancer.

Back in January of this year, Emma’s family were waiting on her mother’s test results. At this point, Emma had gone to Uganda to volunteer for its medical outreach – a dream that she had been working towards for some time. Of course, it wasn’t the easiest of decisions to make, given how she still wanted to be there for her family.

“It was tough for me to go, but Mum made me promise that I would,” she said. Emma was able to volunteer for just short of a week before Brenda’s test results came back. Unfortunately, it was confirmed that she was at Stage Four cancer. Emma arranged to fly back home immediately, spending her birthday on the plane.

Emma and Steve's mum, Kirsty

“You always think: ‘Cancer – let’s hope for the best-case scenario,’” says Steve. “We never really thought it was going to be that bad.”

Having returned home, Emma cared for her mum who had been  referred to St Christopher’s. It was at this time that Emma set about to help fundraise for the hospice when the idea of a skydive came up.

Steve told us how proud he was of his sister, highlighting the courage it took to commit to something like this.

Brenda died very shortly after we spoke to Emma and Steve. It only made Emma more determined to raise money in her memory.

“She liked her home comforts, like her coffee and TV. She was a mother and a grandmother. I got 42 years with her; I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

Emma's jump from 15,000ft

On Saturday 25 May, Emma completed her skydive, raising over £2,000 to support St Christopher’s – an incredible amount for an incredible act of bravery. The funds she has raised will go a long way to helping continue palliative care for others.

After completing the jump, she told us: “We saluted mum from the sky and I also got to steer and spin the parachute by myself which was amazing. My instructor Joe went out of his way to make it special.”

Emma and Steve both have many things to still look forward to. Steve’s children are a big part of both of their lives, and Emma in particular loves being the fun aunt in their life. Steve is also getting married in September.

“I’ll still be saving Mum a seat,” he said.

Gabby’s Story

Posted on by Harry Smith

To honour the memory of her grandmother and to give back to those who had supported her family, Gabby did something incredible to fundraise for St Christopher’s, braving a new look and the cold winter weather.

Gabby had a close relationship with her grandparents, Sheila and George, who were married for 61 years. Growing up in South London, Gabby was raised by her grandmother, and the happy memories of that time still live with her.

“She would always say after we finished a meal and she was full from her food: ‘Lord be praised, my belly is raised without the help of a man!’” Gabby fondly remembers.

When Sheila became terminally ill in October, it was very tough for the whole family. George took on responsibility for caring for Sheila, who had also been living with dementia, but it was difficult for him, even with the support offered to him by loved ones.

That’s where St Christopher’s was able to help, as Gabby said:

“We were referred to St Christopher’s for my grandma’s end-of-life care, and the very same day they organised a night nurse and other care to relieve my granddad.

“I think we’d really like to thank St Christopher’s for the emotional support – you stuck with my granddad. Before the referral, he had found some other doctors and paramedics to be rude to him.”

Sheila died in November, and so Gabby pondered on what she could do to give back for the support her family had been given during the final part of her grandmother’s life.

“I didn’t know where to start at first,” she said, but then the answer came to her: she decided to shave her head to raise money.

Setting a fundraiser target of £500 to go between St Christopher’s and Marie Curie, who had also helped with Sheila’s illness along the way, Gabby reached out online to her friends and family for sponsorship.

The big shave took place on 12 January, which Gabby herself admitted was brave purely because of how cold it was. Making sure that nothing went to waste, she also donated her hair to the Little Princess Trust, which makes wigs for children with cancer.

By the time all was said and done, Gabby had raised a grand total of over £1,200 – more than double the target she had set – an incredible amount for an incredible act of generosity.

Would Gabby recommend a big shave to others?

“Absolutely – it’s so much easier!” she said. “My hair was so long and curly before; now it’s so much easier to maintain! I now try to keep challenging myself every day, and to not be afraid. I’ve been writing down every day that even if something scares you, it’s still worth doing.”

Gabby is currently travelling the world and has been working on a dragon fruit farm in Mexico, with an aim of returning to youth work when she eventually returns home. We wish her all the best in her endeavours.

Ron and Ann’s story

Posted on by Harry Smith

“Unfortunately, my wife died in the July, and then in the December I was given the fact that I had cancer. So, my world had already fallen apart, but then it fell apart even more. And then St Christopher’s gave me Ann,” Ron bravely tells us as he confronts these difficult emotions. His initial response to being matched with a stranger was slightly sceptical.

Then his eyes brighten as a smile beams forth from his face: “But she was lovely,” he says simply.

For five years, St Christopher’s has been running its Compassionate Neighbours project, which reaches out to the community to train volunteers and connect them with those who have been diagnosed with a life-limiting or terminal illness, as well as those who have been facing loneliness social isolation.

What impact could such a project have on the community? Speaking to us at our recent fifth anniversary celebration of the Compassionate Neighbours project, Ron and Ann told the story of what it has meant to them.

Like all Compassionate Neighbours, Ron and Ann began with a simple phone call; this is a way to get to know each other: a way of getting to know one another’s lives, interests and personalities.

“I’m more of a listener than a talker,” explains Ann, and the pair agree that this certainly works for both of them.

“I have someone that I can talk to,” Ron concurs. “I have a family – but you can have a family and still be lonely.” The initial phone calls certainly helped him unburden himself, and over time their friendship blossomed to the point where they now meet regularly to check in with each other.

Ann reflected that the two “had something in common. I had lost my husband about a year before Ron had lost his wife, and so I had the same sort of feelings – I knew what he was going through. I think it made a lot of difference that we had this sort of commonality.”

For so many, the power of the connection is having someone there to listen, to build a friendship with and to connect them with their communities.

“My wife was my life,” Ron nods in agreement. “But now I have someone to talk to again.”

Most important of all, the relationship between Compassionate Neighbour and Community Member is based on respect and mutual benefit. Because of this, individual relationships flourish.

To use Ann’s words: “It’s not just the person you’re matched with that finds it helpful; I think you get something out of it yourself. I think it’s a brilliant scheme.”

Compassionate Neighbours is always looking for volunteers like Ann to help people like Ron. If you would like to find out more about this scheme, or to apply to volunteer for it, click here.