“The Christmas present was mum being with us.”
When Allen Mills’ mum, Susan, came to St Christopher’s in late November 2024, her family thought she might only have a few days to live. But in her typical, determined way, Susan managed six weeks — long enough to share one more Christmas with her husband and three children.
“She was a strong, stubborn, loving woman,” Allen says. “She had been told she was dying more than once, and she just refused to accept it. Mam was great at everything… except for dying! She always kept fighting.”
Born in London, Susan was raised between County Galway, Ireland and London. Her husband, Allen’s father, Tony, was from a small coastal village in County Mayo.
“Mum used to love going back there with the dogs, the next stop over the Atlantic Ocean was Boston. Fresh air, fresh food, great people, great craic, the pubs were open late,” says Allen, 39.
Susan was initially referred to St Christopher’s just after Easter in 2024 and the family were supported by the community team before she was admitted to the hospice’s inpatient unit a few weeks before Christmas, where she died on 30 December 2024.
“Before then,” says Allen, “I only really knew St Christopher’s from the shops on Lordship Lane. I’d never actually set foot in the hospice and you think it might be full of sadness and misery but it’s not.
“This place is like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.”
On Christmas Day itself, the family sat together in the café and had dinner with Susan, sharing stories. An experience that has left Allen with a positive memory of one of the most difficult times of his life.
“It was joyous that we were able to spend Christmas Day together. She looked fantastic, She had a lot more energy about her. We didn’t do presents; the Christmas present was mum being with us.
“I’m always quite happy talking about it because it was a nice day and we might not have had that.
“The fact that we got Christmas Day and we had a good day, she was in good form. And we all had a chance to sit around the table and eat Christmas dinner, as close to normality as we could, I look back on it really fondly.”
“Mam was great at everything… except for dying! She always kept fighting.”
The quality of the dinner itself was a surprise too, for both Allen and Susan – who enjoyed hers so much she had two!
“She had an early Christmas dinner on the ward and then came down and had another with us, so she had two dinners. It was fantastic, I’ve had some pretty ropey ones over the years with watery gravy but the food was great.”
“It must be tough for the staff working over Christmas, especially being away from their families and seeing other people enjoying their Christmases in very different environment, but they were first class. From the minute you walk through the door, from reception to the wards, is it so accommodating and helpful and just it just makes the process easier.”
It was during their Christmas dinner that Susan pointed out a poster for a fundraising bike ride challenge for the hospice which was from London to Versailles, near Paris, reminding Allen that he had done a similar trip before with his friend, Gavin.
“That kind of nailed it for me that I was going to I was going to do it,” he says. “By hook or by crook.”
In September 2025, he completed the 283-mile bike ride alongside 47 other riders, including his friends Gavin, Paul and James, with his team raising more than £11,000 in memory of Susan.
It was the extra, above-and-beyond support, that he remembers feeling so important from the team at St Christopher’s, with him and his partner Shannon, as well as Tony and the rest of the family being able to visit at any time.
“The nurses were first class, often we’d be finishing work or, and it’d be late but they let us in at any time. And, you know, sometimes I stayed the night or stayed quite late to get her settled, something as simple as just watching TV with her.
“We watched Titanic one night together, I moved the bed around and we watched Titanic while she had her dinner.”
During Susan’s stay at St Christopher’s, Allen and his dad also took part in the Remembering with St Christopher’s event at Sydenham, lighting candles in memory of loved ones.
He said the family will be back this year to remember Susan.
“It was very poignant, and probably a bit of an eye opener for the pair of us about what world we were going to be stepping into. It was quite a sobering experience, because we realised what road we were on, so that was quite sad.
“But it was a beautiful ceremony and I’m really glad I was there, it made me realise I need to make every moment count.”
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