Ron and Ann’s story

A friendship that blossomed from a Compassionate Neighbours match

“Unfortunately, my wife died in the July, and then in the December I was given the fact that I had cancer. So, my world had already fallen apart, but then it fell apart even more. And then St Christopher’s gave me Ann,” Ron bravely tells us as he confronts these difficult emotions. His initial response to being matched with a stranger was slightly sceptical.

Then his eyes brighten as a smile beams forth from his face: “But she was lovely,” he says simply.

For five years, St Christopher’s has been running its Compassionate Neighbours project, which reaches out to the community to train volunteers and connect them with those who have been diagnosed with a life-limiting or terminal illness, as well as those who have been facing loneliness social isolation.

What impact could such a project have on the community? Speaking to us at our recent fifth anniversary celebration of the Compassionate Neighbours project, Ron and Ann told the story of what it has meant to them.

Like all Compassionate Neighbours, Ron and Ann began with a simple phone call; this is a way to get to know each other: a way of getting to know one another’s lives, interests and personalities.

“I’m more of a listener than a talker,” explains Ann, and the pair agree that this certainly works for both of them.

“I have someone that I can talk to,” Ron concurs. “I have a family – but you can have a family and still be lonely.” The initial phone calls certainly helped him unburden himself, and over time their friendship blossomed to the point where they now meet regularly to check in with each other.

Ann reflected that the two “had something in common. I had lost my husband about a year before Ron had lost his wife, and so I had the same sort of feelings – I knew what he was going through. I think it made a lot of difference that we had this sort of commonality.”

For so many, the power of the connection is having someone there to listen, to build a friendship with and to connect them with their communities.

“My wife was my life,” Ron nods in agreement. “But now I have someone to talk to again.”

Most important of all, the relationship between Compassionate Neighbour and Community Member is based on respect and mutual benefit. Because of this, individual relationships flourish.

To use Ann’s words: “It’s not just the person you’re matched with that finds it helpful; I think you get something out of it yourself. I think it’s a brilliant scheme.”

Compassionate Neighbours is always looking for volunteers like Ann to help people like Ron. If you would like to find out more about this scheme, or to apply to volunteer for it, click here.