“How St Christopher’s does the event is just so Mum”
For Wendy Blenman, three of her daughters and five grandchildren, the Christmas remembering event at St Christopher’s provides not only a perfect opportunity for the whole family to come together and think about her mother, father and sister, but also captures so many of the key elements of the way in which her mum lived and died.
Wendy’s ‘mum’, Anita Blenman, worked for years as a district nurse having arrived in England as part of the Windrush generation, had a strong Christian faith, loved lighting candles and singing and was very much the matriarch of the family. Anita was also a foster carer for many years.
“How St Christopher’s does the event is just so Mum,” Wendy says. “It’s lovely that we can all be together and light candles to remember her, my sister and my Dad.” Wendy’s youngest daughter and son were unable to attend the event but lit their own candles to remember their much-loved Nan.
Anita, who was actually Wendy’s grandmother but cared for her from a baby, died aged 91 in June 2022, having first been diagnosed with cancer in 1997.
“The nurses from St Christopher’s were very culturally adaptable to Mum’s needs, playing her gospel music and massaging her.”
After her third hospital stay, Wendy, who’d cared for her mum for some time, and the family decided Anita should spend the rest of her life at home under the care of St Christopher’s which had previously provided her with physiotherapy, counselling and classes.
“It meant that at the end of her life she could be in her own house in Penge with all five generations of the family around her. We got the Reverend in, said prayers and sang songs and psalms.”
“She was instrumental in everyone’s life – the glue in our family. If she said it, it went. She carried on looking after her great, great grandchildren right up until when she was in her hospital bed in the house.”
Inspired by her own experience caring for her mother as well as by the care and support St Christopher’s provided, Wendy became a coach for carers at St Christopher’s and enjoyed the role until the pandemic intervened.
“The nurses from St Christopher’s were very culturally adaptable to Mum’s needs, playing her gospel music and massaging her. They were gentle, kind and supportive with all of us. In fact, they became like a part of the family, joining in the singing and eating our food.”
Wendy now makes monthly donations to St Christopher’s as a mark of her appreciation for everything the hospice did for her mum and she’s keen to participate in a fundraising activity this year, before returning to the hospice with the rest of the family at the end of the year to remember the loved ones they’ve lost.
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