Why Don’t We Prepare for Death Like We Prepare for Birth?

Breaking the Taboo Around Death and Dying

Preparing for the birth of a child involves months of physical, emotional, and financial readiness. It’s celebrated despite its challenges. Yet, when it comes to death—the inevitable end of life—we often shy away from preparation and discussion.

Death is a universal truth, yet discussing it remains one of society’s greatest taboos. In today’s aging world, where life expectancy is longer but often accompanied by serious illnesses, there’s ample time to prepare. Despite events like COVID-19 bringing death to the forefront, it remains a daunting topic rarely addressed openly.

I once struggled with the silence surrounding death, especially after losing loved ones to serious illnesses like cancer. Growing through years in palliative care, I’ve come to understand why discussing death is crucial.

Historically, death was communal, happening at home within communities. Now, it’s medicalized—often in sterile environments, detached from its spiritual and social dimensions. Healthcare systems view death as a failure, avoiding discussions on dying and palliative care until late stages, which isolates and diminishes its importance.

In my nursing education, death was approached clinically, devoid of deeper discussions or preparations. It was only in palliative care that I learned to appreciate the human aspect of dying—a privilege to support people in their most vulnerable moments.

Religious teachings emphasize preparing for death, yet cultural taboos and modern anti-aging movements discourage these discussions. Families often avoid talking about death to maintain hope, inadvertently denying individuals the chance to reflect and prepare.

Embracing death as a natural part of life allows us to reflect on our journey and live authentically. It’s a spiritual process that can unite communities and foster deeper connections.

Breaking the taboo around death begins with open conversations—sharing fears, anxieties, and hopes. It’s uncomfortable but essential for personal growth and communal understanding. As Irvin Yalom aptly put it, “In learning to die well, we learn to live well.”

Questions to ponder

How would you feel about living your life all over again exactly the same way as you did before?
How often do conversations about death happen within your family and community?
What are things you find difficult when talking about death with patients? with families?

Farah Demachkieh
Nurse, Public Health Professional, Researcher in Palliative Care
Head of Quality, Research, and Development at SANAD

Co-founder and Vice President, Lebanese Palliative Care Nursing Association
General Council Member, Public Health Palliative Care International